Change

"Sahabat sejati takkan pernah berubah hati. Apa-apa yang terjadi, sama ada awak sudah punya teman lelaki, atau awak belajar tinggi-tinggi sampai ke New York City, kalau awak sayang saya hari ini, esok, lusa, dan bila-bila sahaja, awak tetap masih sayang saya lagi."

*giggles*

ah so lame. i remembered writing those few freaking years ago. 

what? sahabat sejati takkan pernah berubah hati? bro, even the strong, old, big tree can tumbang. apatah lagi hati seorang manusia.

i've long come to realise that people's heart can change so fucking fast and easily. depending on our situations and environment, our heart and feelings is changing to adapt itself so you can live better. sometimes its a part of defense mechanism. 

so you've changed? i'm not surprised. and by all means.

Sharing world

so today in the office, i utter something, almost a whisper, while a colleague pass by behind me.

"are u talking alone"

and out of no reason (maybe he's just tryna make a conversation, that old man, i dont know), he started to scare me. "right here in the office, somewhere near your table is where 'that' thing loves to hangout"

i smiled. tried to laugh but that'll obviously look like a made up one.

since i am declaring myself a nature lover, (i love animals, trees, mountains, rain, etc) i should feel/be ok with the presence of supernaturals too. after all, they are a part of nature we can't deny. we are born and exist in this world with different, perhaps same purposes. u live your life, i live mine.

if i agree to accept others (and by others i mean ghost), i shall pass today and the next day and the next day, obliviously with the fact that maybe, something were sitting right here under my table playing with its long, white hair. 

Bukti I pemalu

1) I tak bagitau sesiapa about this blog, sebab I malu orang baca
2) Ulang no 1
3) Ulang no 2

New Friends

Recently, I met few new friends. Which is awesome because it never really occur to me that I'm gonna have a good social life after I finish my diploma and working at a deserted place (away from friends, that's what I meant).

To be completely honest I like meeting new friends, and by that I mean not in a big number at the same time. Like going to a party with friends and meeting few strangers and having to hangout with them because they happen to be my friends' friend. You see, I'm an awkward person. I may look comfortable around you the first or second or third times we met, but the truth is I'm awkward and that's it. I'm gonna have a mild social anxiety, like omg how to make this works? How to start a conversation? (usually nak start conversation tu senang but to keep it going, I selalu fail). The urge to don't want to be left out among the group, is energy draining. I'll ended up being quiet and introvert, playing with my phone most of the time, and laugh at their jokes which I don't get sometimes. And when it comes to me talking, with all eyes staring at me and concentrating at me, I'll go blank. Hate to be the center of attention to the point I selalu fucked up dalam class presentation.

Which reminds me when I was in high school and primary school. I used to move so often. Here's the list of my schools:

1. SK Puteri Seremban

2. SK Seremban 2A

3. SK Sungai Choh, Rawang

4. SK Selayang Utama

5. SMK Ideal Heights, Selayang

and lastly

6.SMK Puteri Seremban

God know how anxiety I am, having to move to new places and new schools, leaving my old friends that I've just about to getting comfortable with (which is hard and take a while, because I'm quite shy back then).

But the point is, I actually like meeting and making new friends, befriending everyone. I don't like sticking with one group. It's like sticking to one place. Pun begitu, I still stick to few close friends lah. Exploring a human, is like exploring a new place. The more friends you have, the more experience you're going to have too. Sebab kita boleh explore each other's interest and hobi. Kalau ada kawan suka makan, dia akan bawa kita to few new places and introduce kita tempat makan yang best-best. Kalau ada kawan minat hiking, dia boleh bawa kita hiking. Kalau ada kawan minat band metal, kita boleh belajar dengar/explore lagu baru, join dia tengok gig. I am flexible as fuck. And everybody is awesome and weird and boring and fun and fucked up and full of surprises if we get to know them. So go figure.

Hai hantu

I'm not really a good story teller. My major purpose of having this blog is to share a boring (or I can say, a syok sendiri) stories about anything that revolves around me but here I am having no idea what to write. Ada je, tapi semua save dekat draft because I don't find my writing method and my story or my idea/feeling/opinion interesting enough to be shared to the whole world.

But to tell you the truth I really have a lot of unspoken things going on my mind. I don't know and I can't put it to words. Sometimes I wonder how can you people talk and open up to others so easily. Or maybe its just me. If you never ask me anything, you'll know nothing.

So here's my ask.fm, sama kepam dan berhabuk macam blog ini jugak, just in case you wanna ask me anything. Or kalau nak seek advice/opinion, I know this is not the right place but hey maybe you can give me a try?

ask.fm/nunurara